I never wanted to be that girl. You know, the Christian girl doing singles’ ministry. I remember having a conversation with God last year asking Him to not pick me. I told Him, “I don’t mind doing dating ministry or marriage ministry, but can you save singles’ ministry for someone who wants to be single?”
Yes, I admit, I tried to negotiate with God.
When I was a kid, I always said that I wanted to be married by 24. Please don’t ask me why I chose that age, but it definitely seemed a lot older back then! My dream was to get married young, travel the world, and live a life of purpose and adventure together. Well, as time has gone by, I have celebrated many friends and family members enter relationships, get engaged and get married, while I remain single. As I approach 23 years old, I am having to accept the possibility that my desire may not become my reality.
Now, maybe being single isn’t something that’s weighing on you right now, but I’m guessing that you are carrying around a list with your own dreams and expectations on it. Maybe you thought you would’ve been graduating with your friends this weekend, and you’re stuck taking grad photos on your front lawn due to COVID-19. Maybe you thought you’d be working in your dream job and making an impact, and you’re working a 9-5 that you hate.
What are we supposed to do when our dreams and plans for the future fail? What are we to do when the things we asked God for don’t happen? Over the past few months I have deeply wrestled with this, but today after listening to a sermon by Mike Todd, I have a little more clarity. If you are dealing with disappointment right now, here’s what you need to do: surrender your list.
I know, this isn’t feel good advice. To be completely transparent, the thought of surrendering makes me cringe on most days. When I tell you that you need to surrender, rest assured that this isn’t fluffy, superficial advice coming from a super spiritual Christian. This is something that I’m learning in the trenches of my own disappointments as I struggle to release the death grip I have on my life and give up my sense of control.
I know you have created plans for your life, but the tough thing about life is that most times, things don’t go according to plan. Three months ago, I would have never dreamed I would be living at home with my parents right now or that I’d have to watch my sister get married on Zoom. This wasn’t a part of my plan. But, even though my plans have died, that doesn’t mean my purpose has.
I want to encourage you to serve well in this season of disappointment. Love well in this season. Live on mission in this season. Don’t waste it.
I never wanted to be that girl. You know, the Christian girl doing singles’ ministry. But I am her, and I am determined to serve in this season that God has me in for as long as it lasts. Will you do the same?
Drop a COMMENT below and share how you plan to show up and serve well, even in the middle of your disappointments!
This is so amazing! What an encouragement to live with our plans held loosely before our God who is in control of everything, even when it’s hardest to do so!
Thank you, Care! It’s definitely not easy, but His ways are always higher, even when it doesn’t feel like it! 🙂
I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this way! It’s hard to pin point what goes on I my heart, but disappointed is a good word to describe it. I have so much to be grateful for in this time, but still, loosing those dreams is hard. To admit and confess reality as it is, is a hard thing to do but I know I’m better off for it. For myself, my friends and family. I am able to move forward and serve as you too have resolved to do. Thanks for putting this into words Tabby.
I love you so much, Makayla. It’s hard to take the time to slow down, acknowledge our disappointments, bring them to God, and move forward. I definitely find myself wanting to run from the uncomfortable feelings of disappointment and discouragement and push them away, but it’s in the acknowledging that we can draw near to our true Comforter. I miss you. <3
This is so true for me now than ever. Some days I too have a pity party for myself, planning out my life with a ‘glass half empty’ attitude. But it is true that “even though my plans have died, doesn’t mean my purpose has.” Thanks for this reminder.
Thank you so much for sharing, Kristen! It’s so easy to hold a pity party for ourselves. I definitely know what that’s like. I hope that you are encouraged to move forward with purpose and passion. You have so much to offer, friend. Don’t lose hope. <3
I know this is about disappointment and letting go of control, but it’s surprisingly empowering. Thank you for sharing your piece of mind. What you wrote is very encouraging.
Love,
Christi
That’s so awesome! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it, Christi! I’m glad that you found it encouraging. 🙂
Girl, same! I had all these ideas of getting married young and having a ton of kids. I never wanted to be the career woman who was single and driven. But God definitely has a sense of irony because right now I’m 24 and I’ve never dated and I’m pursuing a career of ministry work I never would have been able to do if I was dating or got married right out of college. It’s definitely caused me to redefine my envisioned future and surrender it to the Lord over and over, but He is taking me on adventures I never could have imagined. “Single” does not mean “waiting” for your life to begin…it means living fully and intentionally for Jesus, no matter your relationship status. Some days it’s great and other days I talk myself into having a pity party, but all of the days, He is faithful!
Kayla, this is SO good. I totally get what you mean about some days being great and others being really hard. I’m thankful that we have a God who is with us on both! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. 🙂